See: “В шортиках ты мне больше нравишься”. Конфликт физрука и школьниц в Минске
"When a person thinks about it, it seems like a way out. Anxiety and pain are reduced for a while - relief comes. Over time, this mechanism becomes established. Thoughts are and can remain thoughts, but any fight or problem at school can lead to active action".
What is worth paying attention to?
Experts say you should pay attention to sudden changes in the child's behavior. These may include
Depressed mood, tearfulness, aggression, irritability;
Words and threats of suicide;
If a child talks about their friend and their suicidal intentions - they may be referring to themselves;
Talking about being worthless, unwanted by anyone;
Suddenly talking about how much the child loves you as if saying goodbye;
Giving away valuable personal items and trying to get important things done quickly;
Being withdrawn and unwilling to socialize;
Being interested in the subject of death.
What to do?
Psychologists advise that if there are alarming signs in the child's behavior, you should find an opportunity to put aside your concerns and spend as much time as possible with the child. It is essential to take this seriously.
Here are some other expert recommendations:
Show them that you are on their side, no matter what;
If someone is hurting them, protect them. Even if it's a teacher or principal, even if it's your spouse, that's how the child learns to understand how to defend themselves;
Explain that your problems are not about them and they are not responsible for them;
Be sincere in your love and concern;
If they share suicidal thoughts - this is a cry for help; try to find out what problems are depressing them and let them know that you are there to help them.
It's good if a child has an adult they can trust besides their parents (grandmother, aunt, older sister, mother's friend, teacher, school counselor).
Sometimes, discussing a problem with parents is impossible, mainly if it has arisen within the family. In this case, experts recommend consulting a psychologist. It is important to remember that if a child says that they want to die - this is a severe reason to contact a psychiatrist immediately.
Many child suicides occur in orphanages. Why is that?
According to Zarytskaya and Perapiolkin, orphanage children do not feel needed or loved. They are not taught problem-solving skills and ignore their emotional state.
"Even if we imagine an ideal orphanage, it is still a closed system, where many people of different ages live, with whom the child did not choose to live; he or she cannot leave this system or take a break for a while."
Often, children in such institutions face bullying, aggression, and sexual abuse; it is very difficult for them to adapt to such circumstances.
While parents provide models of relationships and ways to cope with difficulties in the family, such models are distorted or absent in an orphanage.